bleak

words/07-08-2017.md

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+07-08-2017
+
+I cannot sleep. I tried to, but as I lay staring at the ceiling with eyes wide open, the memories 
+of the few strokes of reality's fabric that I have had all banded together and flipped themselves, 
+from a glimpse of something beautiful into a horrific angst and I simply lay there, 
+paralysed with existential dread.
+
+That dread is fading from me now as I type these words, partly in distraction and partly in hope
+that I can relate the feeling to another person. I searched my mind for somebody to call and speak
+to but I don't know anybody as prone to nocturnality as myself. Another time.
+
+For now I am tempering my malcontent with sympathy for a group of people I cannot help but feel
+are sorely misunderstood: the (rarely) humble economists.
+It is clear to all that our universe consists of wonderous interplays systems built on top of 
+other equally complicated systems. The science of biology (and I think none will dispute that it
+is indeed a science) is an emergent property of the field of chemistry, itself beholden to the
+physical forces of elementary particles, described by quantum theories in ever more abstract 
+applications of pure mathematics with a few choice variables.
+
+From biology we work upwards: ecology, how do the watery carbon based machines built from these 
+blueprints interact with each other? Psychology: how do these machines interact with themselves?
+Suddenly we come to a halt though, as we often hear that economics is not a _real_ science,
+simply a study of money making.
+
+There is in fact no Nobel Prize in economics. There is the `Nobel Memorial Prize in 
+Economic Sciences`, conceived by the central bank of Sweden in 1968 to celebrate 300 years of said 
+money making, which does include the term `Science` but even so, a member of the Nobel family,
+Peter Nobel, Alfred's great grand nephew is quoted as saying 
+"[t]he Economics Prize has nestled itself in and is awarded as if it were a Nobel Prize. 
+But it's a PR coup by economists to improve their reputation."^1
+
+Quite a slander, and up until recently I felt much the same, but I feel we are marching ceacelessly
+into an economically powered world that has all the nuances of ecology, psychology, mathematics,
+game theory and many other fields being executed simultaneously. 
+What would you call the application of several sciences at once if not a science?
+
+In economics as in every other corner of reality, efficiency is held in the highest regard.
+If you are more efficient than a competitor, perhaps because you have some innovation such as a 
+loving workforce that doesn't mind coming in on Saturday, you can outmaneuvre them. 
+In economics this means making money; it finds clear parallels in other avenues of life because
+simply, there is no distiction between economics and any other part of life. A lion might be 
+terrifying and huge but if you are quick with your hands and good with a spear you are more
+more efficient than a lion and so it will not eat you. 
+
+Any sensible left leaning person's intuition will tell them that killing other humans is very bad,
+and it is. It's also really inefficient! Many hands make light work, if there is only you around
+there's lots to be done and not many people to do it.
+
+^2
+I don't think it's an accident that what people's intuition tells them is just or good often
+overlaps with really efficient methods. It's better for us to work together than to compete with
+each other constantly, game theory shows us this is the case in even its most basic game: 
+the prisoners' dilemma^3.
+
+Of course we wouldn't be here if all we did was cooperate (wishfully) with other entities. 
+Sometimes competition is necessary, humans didn't become the apex predator of the (known) universe
+by hoping that lions would let us be, we banded together and outmaneuvred them, taking over
+the environment around us. The trick is seeing when, and in fact with whom we need to band together 
+and when we need to compete.
+
+In my mind competition is really just evolution happening. Evolution never, ever stops happening,
+the environment just changes, and this is so now. 
+
+Humanity has passed a point where we routinely compete with other species, now our competition is
+within ourselves. I feel humanity is approaching a time when we need to sub-speciate. Just as
+physical characteristics create diversity in organisms via evolution, so do ideals in human 
+populations. 
+
+It's not okay to tolerate opinions and ideals that are clearly against the common good, tolerance
+is not competition, it is the equivalent of negotiating with lions. The most powerful nation on 
+the planet has elected a warmongering fool into its highest postion, and they did so because 
+fascism is very very efficient, it motivates people in insane ways.
+
+To me the left has no such band at the moment. We can't tell our friends from our enemies and
+are being outmaneuvred.
+
+I feel lost.
+
+
+1. https://web.archive.org/web/20071014012248/http://www.thelocal.se/2173/20050928/
+2. at this point i am really struggling to get my thoughts down cohesively. everything in
+	my mind is woven together so tightly.
+3.  ```Two members of a criminal gang are arrested and imprisoned. Each prisoner is in solitary 
+confinement with no means of communicating with the other. The prosecutors lack sufficient evidence 
+to convict the pair on the principal charge. They hope to get both sentenced to a year in prison on 
+a lesser charge. Simultaneously, the prosecutors offer each prisoner a bargain. Each prisoner is 
+given the opportunity either to: betray the other by testifying that the other committed the crime, 
+or to cooperate with the other by remaining silent. The offer is:
+If A and B each betray the other, each of them serves 2 years in prison
+If A betrays B but B remains silent, A will be set free and B will serve 3 years in prison (and vice versa)
+If A and B both remain silent, both of them will only serve 1 year in prison (on the lesser charge)
+```
+
+Money is an abstraction humans have created to represent power in a world where making food is 
+actually a bit too easy and they have to find something else to do.